The writers of this fine, upstanding publication
would like to point out that we in no way condone copyright infringement.
Particularly when it’s our stuff that’s getting ripped
off. Having said that, it’s come to our attention that there
are certain CDs on sale around town that may not be coming to
you direct from the Sony Corporation. So. In the interests of
higher consumer awareness (and saving a good $20 on a CD or DVD)
we bring you… |
|
AUGUST 2008
Don’t
Mess with The Zohan
It’s about time that Hollywood explored the rich
comedy goldmine that is the Middle East conflict, and who better to
do it than Adam Sandler? The plot...well, the plot’s almost too
ridiculous to explain, but suffice it to say that Zohan (Sandler) is
an ex Israeli anti-terrorist who lands in New York trying to make it
as a hairdresser.
What follows is your standard fish-out-of-water tale made slightly edgy
by some fairly stereotypical references to the Israeli and Palestinian
communities.
The jokes are there, and some are funny. It’s possible that people
with Middle Eastern backgrounds will find this a laugh-fest of hilarious
in-jokes, but to the outsider, it seems that the movie spends more time
laughing at its subjects than with them.
If you’re a Sandler fan, this one will hit the spot over and over.
Otherwise, it makes for a couple of hours of relatively harmless diversion.
Rihanna
Good Girl Gone Bad
I gotta say I was incredibly ready to trash this album.
I had all my best lines ready - Mediocre Nobody Gone Superstar. Good
Beats Gone Pop. Etc. So imagine my disappointment, having listened to
the whole disc, to find that I actually enjoyed it. Don’t get
me wrong - this isn’t a Timeless Classic, but behind the mindless
pop rotation of MTV faves like “Don’t Stop the Music”,
and “Umbrella”, there’s actually some decent songwriting
and excellent production here.
The title track, with its stripped back beats and evocative strings
is a real sleeper, but the real winners - subtler, artful melody-laden
tracks like “Give Me a Try” and “Final Goodbye”
sit way back in the mix, and are well worth discovering.
PAST WORDS...
JULY
2008
The
Incredible Hulk
I honestly don’t know what I was thinking - I
should know by now, but there I went on another superhero movie. It
was a toss up for me, which was the more mystifying - what sort of fabric
Banner’s pants are made out of that they can stretch to 10 times
their original size and withstand napalm bombing, or how it is that
they con A list actors like Edward Norton, Liv Tyler and Tim Rice into
working on utter dross like this.
Disclosure: I loved the hulk when I was a kid, but this episode left
me feeling empty and dirty, as if a piece of my childhood had been snatched
away and churned through a big Hollywood hits machine.
Yeah, yeah. Lou Ferrigno (from the TV series) has a cameo role and the
CGI graphics are all that you’d expect them to be, but without
a little tension and a sturdy plot, it’s all just bells and whistles
and a big green monster.
Allison
Memorama
Ever since the early 80’s the kids have been
proclaiming that Punk isn’t Dead, but then Green Day and Blink
182 keep releasing albums. It’s like the death of a thousand cuts,
without quite so many cuts.
At first listen, Allison come across as just another Mexican kiddie
punk rip off band with a nailed-down formula (“Hey, let’s
start the next one off mellow, and then crank up the distortion pedals”)
and a tried n’ true subject matter (“What about a song about
my ex?”), but if you persevere with them, you’ll find songs
like Reloj are infectiously rockin’ while the bittersweet Dime
Que proves that they can actually play music.
If you’re wondering what to get your bilingual skatehead little
brother for his birthday, put this one on your list.
JUNE
2008
One
Missed Call
Cell phones. We all knew they were evil, we just didn’t
know why exactly. This movie, which promises to do for the Nokia 5110
what The Ring did for the VCR, is based around a minimally-explained
Curse From Beyond that kills one person, then selects the next victim
from their list of contacts.
Unfortunately, this moderately interesting premise is also the movie’s
greatest downfall - in a good horror flick, you never know who’s
going to get the axe in the forehead, but One Missed Call spells it
out for you, and every death comes foretold.
Despite that, the tension remains reasonably high and the movie is thankfully
bereft of that “It’s the serial killer! No! It’s just
the cat!” device that seems to be compulsory for the genre these
days.
Mildly titillating, slightly gory - this one won’t scare your
pants off, but you won’t fall asleep, either.
Akwid
La Novela
It took me a while to come around to Akwid. Or maybe
it took them a while to start making music that I liked. Regardless,
La Novela comes across as a subtler, more thoughtful album to past efforts.
To be fair, the formula hasn’t really changed - Mexican hip hop
over largely acoustic instrumentation. The Mariachi horns are still
there, as is the big thumping bassline, but the tracks here seem to
be more musical and less relentless party chanting. There are a whole
cast of guest stars on the album, but the real standouts are the five
acoustic versions at the end of the disc - you could easily play them
at a dinner party without too many raised eyebrows, something that you’d
be hard stretched to say about Akwid tracks of the past.
MAY
2008
Vantage
Point
Because interesting stories are hard to write and endearing, believable
actors are tough to find, Hollywood has resorted to making sequels
of popular films (it's already a hit!), movies involving comic book
heroes (it's already written!) and gimmick films. Shot from the perspective
of eight different witnesses of a Presidential assassination attempt,
Vantage Point is a gimmick film. But like , some gimmicks can be enjoyable.
Instead of filling us in from the very beginning, the story is slowly
revealed to us throughout the film, a technique that, if the story is
compelling enough, really locks the viewer in. The cast, featuring Forest
Whitaker, Dennis Quaid, Sigourney Weaver and that rugged, honorable
guy from Lost, was good, if a little over-the-top. The best
part of the movie was the nonstop action. From the anxious opening to
the somewhat happy ending, I was on the edge of my seat.
Tego
Calderon
El Abayarde Contra-Ataca
We first heard Tego Calderon on Calle 13's catchy Sin Exagerar.
While slower and milder, Calderon' s El Abayarde Contra-Ataca
is similar to Calle 13' s Residente o Visitante in that both
albums fuse reggaeton with various musical genres - salsa, rock and
even jazz.
While he lacks MC Residente' s signature voice, Calderon is more thoughtful
and less likely to offend. As for the individual songs, Alegria
opens the album with a catchy brass beat and Por Mi Madre closes
it with a thoughtful tribute. Hiding somewhere in the middle, Ni
Fu Ni Fa (meaning "not bad, not great" ) is emblematic
of Calderon' s approach - creative, understated and, most of all, fun.
APRIL
2008
The
Bank Job
As an actor, Jason Statham is both reckless and incredibly risk averse.
Seemingly every one of his films involve elaborate fight scenes and
dangerous car chases, and yet none of his roles ever ask him to step
out of his comfort zone as either a tough, wisecracking British loner
(see The Transporter, Crank) or a tough, wisecracking
British member of a heist team (see Lock, Stock and Two Smoking
Barrels, The Italian Job, Snatch and, most recently,
The Bank Job). Whether he' s typecast because of his limited
range or his mastery of a very specific type of character, I don' t
much care. There' s no denying he's good at what he does and, by the
looks of it, we're not likely to see him branch out anytime soon. Covert
sources inform us that Transporter 3, Crank 2 and
The Brazilian Job (sequel to The Italian Job) are
all slated to hit theatres next year. As a result, the federal government
has predicted a 500% increase in asskickings in 2009.
Emilio
Talva
Suenos Para Mi Mariposa
With Sueños Para Mi Mariposa, a collection of mostly
original songs composed and performed in Guatemala, Spain, Germany and
Switzerland, Emilio Talva has earned himself a place in Xela's storied
trova tradition.
Regalo de Temura kicks off the album with a light, playful
samba rhythm enhanced by the soothing sound of crashing waves in the
background. Masterfully expressing a story without the need for words,
Mi Odisea y Tu Cuerpo is the best of the bunch. Talva's somber
rendition of Luna de Xelajú is also worth a listen.
Not just a singer, Talva owns and runs Xela's preeminent trova
bar, La Fonda del Che, where he plays live on Thursday and Friday
nights at 8pm.
MARCH
2008
Rambo
No, I haven't reverted to reviewing twenty-six year-old movies; Sylvester
Stallone and the gang have actually come out with another Rambo movie,
almost three decades after the original. If my math holds up, that would
make Stallone sixty-one years old. Sixty-one! Considering our only other
action heroes are Bruce Willis (52) and Chuck Norris (67), what does
this say about the movie industry? I personally blame Vin Diesel. He
has the look, the badass name. If only he could act, this whole travesty
could have been averted. Oh well. On to the movie.
Stallone plays John Rambo, a peaceful loner and war veteran living
in Thailand who reluctantly agrees to ferry a group of Christian missionaries
into neighboring war-torn Burma. Everything is fine until the missionaries
get kidnapped and tortured by the evil Major Tint and his Burmese army
countrymen. You can imagine what happens after that.
Despite its predictability, it isn't a bad movie. The copy I picked
up in La Demo ended up being dubbed in German, which - surprisingly
enough - actually enhanced my enjoyment of it. It's not like dialogue
is all too important in Rambo movies, and German for some reason just
sounds so badass.
Alejandro
Sanz
El Tren de los Momentos
Alejandro Sanz, not to be confused with Horatio Sanz - an overweight
and underfunny comedian on Saturday Night Live - recently came out with
his seventh album and, as it were, his first male fragrance, which happens
to be named " Seven." Accompanied by Latino royalty Shakira,
Juanes and Calle 13 - on the album, not the fragrance - Sanz reminds
me of Ricardo Arjona, though he lacks the latter's sharp voice and boyish
good looks.
While "Tren de los Momentos" won a Grammy for best Latin
Pop Album, it didn't bowl me over. Sure, "Te Lo Agredzco Pero No,"
a duet with Shakira, is a fantastic song, but one good song does not
a great album make. "Ensename Tus Manos" and "Te Quiero
Te Amo" are quite listenable, if not especially deep. While there
weren't too many things about this album that I found objectionable,
I nevertheless don't envision myself listening to it too much unless
I need some light background music.
FEBRUARY
2008
Juno
Jason Bateman and Michael Cera from Arrested Development are the big
draw, but lesser names steal this show. Ellen Page plays Juno MacGuff,
a free-thinking high-schooler who unexpectedly becomes pregnant, with
uncanny believability and impeccable comedic timing. Jennifer Garner
impresses by playing an uptight Martha Stewart clone and jubilant adoptive
mother-to-be without contradiction.
Unlike many independent comedies (Napoleon Dynamite comes to mind),
Juno doesn't garner laughs by turning characters into caricatures; by
portraying somewhat normal (if quirky) people put into an extraordinary
situation, the film allows the audience to really connect with it. We
may not know any pregnant fifteen year-olds, but we've all met socially-awkward
teenagers, suburban housewives and aging music lovers who never want
to grow up.
What makes this film especially unique, however, isn't the fantastic
acting or realistic characters, but its ability to seamlessly blend
moments of high comedy with those of poignant drama: a young mother
deciding whether to keep her child, a man deciding whether to leave
his wife, an adoptive mother seeing her new child for the first time.
All in all, it's the best movie I've seen in quite some time.
Calle
13
Residente o Visitante
The Puerto Rican duo of rapper Residente and producer Visitante follow
up their self-titled debut album, which featured the runaway hit "Atrevete-te,"
with an endlessly listenable and mischievous sophomore release.
While "Tango de Pecado" is the featured hit, "Tributo
a la Policia" is my personal favorite. Anyone who has traveled
around Latin America can probably relate. One thing that separates Calle
13 from the pack is their ability to make fun of themselves. At the
end of "Mala Suerte Con El," Residente exchanges playful insults
with a female companion, who ends the taunting by calling him Calle
13, the ultimate insult.
Calle 13 avoids the repetitive and often mindless thumping of most
reggeton by employing musical stylings from various countries throughout
Latin America. The beat to "Tango de Pecado" reminds one of
a South American tango, while "Cumbia de los Aburridos" draws
from Columbian cumbia music. In sum, the album is both interesting and
entertaining, though we wouldn't have minded some Guatemalan marimba
thrown in.
JANUARY
2008
American
Gangster
When Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe decided to team up with director
Ridley Scott, I had high expectations. As, apparently, did they. American
Gangster is a little bit Scarface, a little bit Blow and a little bit
L.A. Confidential. Unfortunately, it's not quite enough of each to be
great.
Russell Crowe plays an honest cop in a corrupt system married to the
job with a dysfunctional family life. So pretty much the protagonist
of every cop movie. Ever. For some reason, the writers decided to have
him pursuing his law degree while working on the case, a detail that
only becomes relevant when his character serves as the prosecuting attorney
for the very case he investigated as a police officer. Needless to say,
the believability factor is lacking. At least Denzel's character is
more interesting and nuanced. As Frank Lucas, the first African American
drug lord in the United States, Denzel treats his family well and gives
back to his community. This duality allows the audience to choose whether
to root for the honest cop or the ambitious kingpin, which is admittedly
a nice touch.
That said, American Gangster is an epic, as intended, but principally
by virtue of its length (2 hours and 30 minutes) and not its content.
Belinda
Utopia
After winning Video of the Year and Best Solo Artist at the 2007 Latin
American MTV Video Music Awards, a surprising few gringos are keen to
the musical prodigy known simply as Belinda. Most of the songs on this
album follow the good love gone bad formula, fraught with teen angst,
but this should not surprise us. After all, she's still only 18 and
has yet to hit her formative cocaine-binging, white-trash-baby-daddy-marrying
years.
Three songs in particular stand out. Bella Traición is a hit
in the tradition of Kelly Clarkson's "Since You've Been Gone."
They're both lyrically vapid songs written by young girls that tend
to affect me in the same way: first a little head bobbing, followed
by some foot-tapping, and before I know it, I'm jumping up and down
on my table, belting out the words at the top of my lungs. This is an
anonymous column, right?
Luz Sin Gravidad and Amiga Soledad, while slower, more somber piano
pieces, nonetheless elicit visceral reactions of a similar magnitude,
if a different type altogether. Instead of dancing on tables, I end
up watching chick flicks with a box of tissues at the ready by my side.
Call me uniquely in touch with my inner adolescent female. Call me a
pussy. Either way, this is an album worth shelling out Q10.
DECEMBER
2007
Lars
and the Real Girl
Not sure what attracted me to this movie, the storyline about the small
town introvert who doesn't like to be touched or the fact that said
introvert owns an anatomically-correct doll. Either way, it hit a little
too close to home.
Despite the awkward memories, the movie was quite good. Ryan Gosling
(Lars) was as authentic and dreamy as ever and Paul Schneider (Lars's
older brother Gus) was particularly convincing, if a tad over the top.
While the acting was good, the real story of the movie was the townspeople's
reaction to the doll. The response, which gradually changed from shock
to quiet revulsion to open acceptance, was endearing, if a bit hard
to swallow. From a small town in the Northeast myself, I found it a
tad hard to imagine that the townspeople were so accepting of a quiet,
mustached (pronounced muh-sta-shed) weirdo with a plastic girlfriend.
Not once was a "qweah" or "pervit" uttered.
Lars and the Real Girl reminded me of two other good movies
I've seen recently. Like Crash, it made me think about human
relationships and how their very nature can change drastically depending
on one's environment. As for the other movie - cough - let's just say
that it also involved an anatomically-correct plastic doll and a man
with a mustache....
Juanes
La Vida...Es Un Ratico
If there's more than one Juan, why the lone face on the cover? Are
they twins? Oh, if only. Juanes is a contraction of his first (Juan)
and middle (Esteban) names. So there's a fun fact for you.
Like Michael Jackson, Juanes is a man of many faces. He started out
as a smooth-shaven pop star, transitioned to a tattooed, more heavily
muscled and longer haired loner and has finally matured as an artist.
By matured, I don't mean to imply that his lyrics have gotten terribly
deep; he just seems more like a real person, comfortable in his own
skin. Unlike Michael Jackson.
While there are plenty of good songs on this album, Me Enamoras
and No Creo en el Jamas are his next big hits. The former will
be big despite the corresponding music video that recently premiered
on MTV Tres. Is it just me, or is a Latin marching band and a damsel
in distress not the best formula for a music video? As for the latter,
either Juanes doesn't believe in Palestinian/Sunni political/terrorist
organizations or my Spanish is not so good. Either way, it's yet another
Juanes album you really should add to your collection.
NOVEMBER
2007
Gone
Baby Gone
Gone Baby Gone ,
Ben Affleck's directorial debut,
is a drama about a kidnapped little
girl set in the gritty Boston neighborhood
of Dorchester. As it turns out, acting and not having greasy hair are
not the only things Mr. Affleck sucks at.
The plot is choppy and, at times, contrived.
[Spoiler Alert] Not long after Amanda McCready is kidnapped, everyone
concludes that she's "gone baby gone." Well since movies are
generally more than thirty minutes long, I'm guessing she's not (I'm
right!). We later discover that the McCready kidnapping was an elaborate
cover-up with a noble motive among members of her family, the two detectives
and the police chief. Riiight. Happens all the time. As if that weren't
bad enough, the characters don't ring true. Would a loving girlfriend
who has risked her life to stand by her man leave him for making a tough
moral decision? Would a police
officer who has spent his career tracking down kidnappers
become one himself? What? He couldn't have adopted?
That said, the movie teaches us some
things. We learn that Amy Ryan (Helene McCready) is a terrific actress.
That contrary to all known rules of pronunciation,
"Dorchester" is actually pronounced "Dahchestah."
And finally, that, despite all rumors to the contrary, black people
do, in fact, live in Boston.
Kanye
West
Graduation
When we heard that Kanye was coming out
with another album, we flew all the way to the states to buy
it (okay, so we were going back anyway). We were not disappointed.
The beats are impecable and, for the
most part, upbeat. The lyrics, as always, are cocky ("Bow in the
presence of greatness...You should be honored by my lateness. That I
would even show up to this fake shit."), witty ("Never did
this before - that's what the virgin says. We been generally warned
- that's what the surgeon says.") and unpredictable ("Heard
they'd do anything for a Klondike. Well I'll do anything for a blonde
dyke.").
Our only gripe with the album is West's
ever-present inferiority - or is it superiority? - complex. From his
album titles ( College Dropout, Late Registration , Graduation)
to his lyrics ("They got the CD then got to see me drop gems like
I dropped out of P.E.") to his metaphors (he labeled this album
his dissertation), Kanye can't ever seem to get past college. We get
it Kanye. School doesn't always make you smarter. You dropped out but
made it big. Enough already. That said, we sure wouldn't mind
if you went for your masters.
OCTOBER
2007
Crank
Jason Statham. Some of you know him as that surly Brit who kicked ass
in The Transporter. Others may remember him as that burly guy who beat
up practically everyone in The Transporter 2. So he's typecast. What
he lacks in range, he more than makes up for in ass-kickery.
The movie begins with a normal enough premise: Chev Chelios, a professional
hitman trying to mend his evil ways, gets injected by a rival bad guy
with the "Beijing Cocktail," a synthetic poison that will
kill him in a matter of hours unless he keeps his adrenaline at astronomically
high levels. And how better to do that than driving fast cars, having
sex in public places and beating up lots and lots of bad guys?
As one might expect, there aren't a lot of surprises in this one, but,
if you like action movies, you certainly get what you pay for.
Ricardo
Arjona
¿Quien Dijo Ayer?
Ricardo Arjona, Guatemala's leading export after coffee and stolen
babies, has once again authored a solid album. While it doesn't come
close to his masterpiece, Adentro (2005), which included Mojado
and piano pieces Laura and Pinguinos En La Cama, it's
a bit more musically diverse.
In ¿Quien Dijo Ayer?, Arjona teams up with Marc Antony
on Historia de un Taxi and Panteon on Si El Norte Fuera
El Sur, but his real gems are the ones without the big stars, the
songs in which he sticks to what he does best: acoustic guitar and piano.
Our favorite song on the album has to be Jesus Verbo No Sustantivo,
not for the music (stale) or the lyrics (trite), but for the simple
fact that we've always wanted to say, "I really jesused
the crap out of that one," or "I'm going to jesus
you sweetly, baby, all night long." Thank you Mr. Arjona. Thank
you so very much.
SEPTEMBER
2007
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The
Bourne
Ultimatum
|
|
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Enrique
Iglesias
Insomniac
|
|
I gotta say I thoroughly enjoyed this movie, and it wasn’t
just because of the Old School, filmed in the cinema copy that
gave a great silhouette of the guy in the row in front’s
head.
The Bourne movies are cool to watch because, apart from kicking
arse in exotic locations, totalling car after car and outsmarting
the good/bad guys constantly, the main character actually comes
across as sympathetic.
He’s a killer who doesn’t like killing, a government
agent who mistrusts the government, and he looks like a guy
who you could sit down and chat about the latest Jim Jarmusch
movie with, to boot.
This one answers all the questions, but if the rest of the package
weren’t so slick, chances are we’d be left asking
“who cares?”.
|
The Iglesias family. I’ve actively loathed them ever
since my mum fell in love with old man Julio and my parents’
marriage ended soon after, installing in me a lifelong mistrust
of long term relationships and silky-voiced Latin crooners with
chiseled jawlines alike.
Having never actually listened to an Enrique disc, I’m
hesitant to use the phrase “more of the same”, although
I suspect that there’s plenty of that going on here.
The standout tracks have already received Radio Overkill, and
there’s not really anything in the way of hidden gems.
You could say the rest is filler, but that would imply some
form of substance. There’s a nice piano intro on Rings
My Bells, and the lilting melody of Somebody’s Me has
probably gotten Don Enrique into more than one pair of panties,
but it’s kinda hard to recommend a disc on those strengths
alone.
|
PAST WORDS...
AUGUST
2007
Slow
Burn
Ray Liotta’s one of those actors who you can follow with a fair
degree of certainty - very few of his films actually actively suck.
This one isn’t exactly mindblowing - it’s a fairly standard
detective flick where the assistant DA is in with the local crimelord.
The one big twist is that the gangstas here are in the real estate business,
and busy buying up the whole inner city.
There’s some other weird stuff going on about Mekhi Phifer being
white but pretending to be black that doesn’t really fit anywhere
in the story, and a twist at the end that’s so shamelessly signposted
that it’s hardly with going into details here.
LL Cool J puts in another solid acting performance, and there’s
a super-slinky soundtrack featuring the likes of Wax Poetic and The
Supreme Beings of Leisure. Worth a look.
Redimi2
Revolucion
Now, I’m not really a big fan of Christian Reggaeton. In fact,
until I bought this disc, I didn’t even know there was Christian
Reggaeton. But still - who cares? Listening to the words in reggaeton
songs is like eating at the restaurant in an art gallery - unsatisfying,
confusing and at times straight out nauseating.
Apparently, though, Redimi2 is at the top of his game, with an international
following.
The title track is a little cheesy for this reviewer’s taste and
the gospel rhythms of Buscalo are, well, let’s just say predictable.
To be fair, though, good time party tracks like Agua, Pan y Luz and
Dios te esta Mirando are guaranteed to get something moving and the
salsa-soaked Toi Quitao does the work that all the reggaetoneros should
be doing - pushing the genre in a new direction.
JULY
2007
28
Weeks Later
Of all the horror movie genres, the Zombie flick has to be the most
satisfying. There’s nothing quite like a quiet night at home with
a loved one watching the undead eat people’s brains to set the
mood.
28 Weeks Later is the sequel to 28 Days Later. The movie picks up after
all the zombies in Britain have died of starvation, having eaten all
the living. Insert joke about English food here.
It’s a pretty scary piece of work, all in all, and a good mix
of lo-fi effects (the Zombie Freakout sequences smack of first year
film school) and big budget blowouts (emptying the streets of London
would have either meant huge bucks in permits or some serious CGI).
There’s no real explanation as to where the virus came from and
no cure in sight, but the door is left open for 28 Months Later, as
the closing scenes show the zombies hitting mainland Europe.
Oops. I Hope I didn’t spoil the surprise for you there.
Daddy
Yankee
El Cartel
Much has been written about reggaeton on these pages, and very little
of it has been favorable. It’s an incredibly polarizing artform
- people either love it or hate it. What I find weird is that it brings
out the most grandmotherly reactions in otherwise open-minded people.
I’ve actually heard relatively normal people say things like “That’s
not music, it’s just noise”, “All the songs sound
the same” and that old chestnut “Where are the melodies?”.
For me, reggaeton is like any type of music - there’s the good,
original stuff with integrity and flair and then there’s the commercial
crap. Don Omar and Calle 13 fall firmly in the first category. That
dork Wisin is a shining example of the second. Daddy Yankee straddles
the fence, and this disc is a reflection of that. There are some good
tracks here - the heavy hip hop beats of “El Desafio” (featuring
Don Omar) and slinky guitar lines of “Quien Eres Tu” take
the genre in a new direction and lyrics like “Tú no eres
guapetón/eso es un producto del ron” prove that Daddy’s
got a sense of humor.
Unfortunately, much of the rest of the disc seems to be filler. Good
thing it only costs Q10, huh?
JUNE
2007
Donde
Acaban
los Caminos
Due to the great cultural cringe that operates in this country it takes
a long time for the few Guatemalan films that get made to make it to
the street vendors. The market, it seems, is far more interested in
what Spidey is up to. This one was made in 2004, and only just arrived
in La Demo, but it’s definitely an interesting piece.
The story concerns a big city doctor who goes to work in a small village.
This is really just a pretext for a rich layering of (often dichotomous)
sub themes - modernization vs. tradition, Maya vs. Ladino culture, humanism
vs. the military.
There’s some gorgeous camerawork here - the film was mostly shot
in Antigua and around Lake Atitlán and the plot moves forward
while maintaining a languid, almost melancholy pace.
As is fitting for a film of this genre, there’s no happy ending
and the overall message - don’t mess with the status quo - is
a bit gloomy, but all things considered, it’s well worth checking
out.
John
Cena &
Tha Trademarc
You Can’t See Me
I gotta admit to being slightly disappointed. Normally, when I buy
hip hop albums put out by wrestling stars, I do it for the trash value.
Lord knows Hulk Hogan’s Hulk Rules still gets plenty of play around
our house, especially when we’re in need of a good laugh.
So what the hell? The WWE’s newest poster boy has actually put
out a decent album. Not groundbreaking, a little heavy on the Eminem
influence, but some good solid old school hip hop. Stripped back beats,
funky guitar samples and sparse piano lines - this isn’t even
close to being a novelty album.
There aren’t even any wrestling-themed tracks here. I was hoping
for at least a few references to the top turnbuckle, maybe a piledriver
here or there - anything about a beatdown with a metal chair would have
just been icing on the cake. But no. Nix.
I guess I’ll just have to wait for The Rock’s next release.
MAY
2007
Factotum
Bukowski. They keep making films about him, but it seems to me they
never quite capture it. First problem is that ol’ Charles was
one ugly mother, so why do they keep casting pretty boys like Matt Dillon
and Mickey Rourke in the part?
The film is based largely on the novel of the same name with bits taken
from three other Bukowski books. It’s very familiar ground to
anybody who’s read anything of the man - Hank Chinaski going from
job to job, abusing his bosses, beating his women, getting drunk and
playing the horses.
It’s a bleak landscape alright, but the author’s lust for
life and his optimism in the face of pure adversity provides a little
light.
This is a decent adaptation - much better than Barfly, anyway - and
the writers have had the sense to leave plenty of original dialogue
in the script. The last word in the film rightly goes to the author
- “If you’re going to try, go all the way... it’s
the only good fight there is.”
Justin
Timberlake
Futuresex/Lovesounds
I should admit that, being that I’m not a 12 year old girl, my
panties did not get the slightest bit damp at the thought of reviewing
this CD. And while listening to it, I did not giggle, shriek or think
about horse riding at any moment.
But you gotta give Justin his props. It’s hard to come out of
the Mickey Mouse Club and get taken as a serious artist. Britney did
it, but we all know how exceptional she is.
Ahem.
And besides, anybody who was knocking boots with Cameron Diaz on a regular
basis has all of XelaWho’s respect.
Peace out, JT.
This album sees our man doing what he does best - busting out good time
party tunes, with the help of special guests like Snoop and Timbaland.
He’s hardly going to change musical history or solve problems
in the Middle East, but with lyrics like “I can see us holding
hands/walking on the beach our toes in the sand” you gotta give
him points for trying.
APRIL
2007
Little
Miss Sunshine
This dark comedy is hands-down the best film I've bought at La Demo.
Granted, my only other purchases thus far have been Surf Ninjas and
something called Clown Porn, but still…
Little Miss Sunshine is one of those rare comedies that doesn't rely
on explosive diarrhea, awkward pop culture references or contrived,
annoying quotes to get laughs. Yes, Ben Stiller, that last bit refers
to you.
The script in many ways offers the standard road trip hijinks, but
is well seasoned with edgy, clever dialogue, a quirky, morbid storyline
and phenomenal acting.
And unlike most lesser comedies, this one saves its biggest laughs
for a truly ridiculous ending scene that has likely offended many (editor's
note: these people are called “prudes,” and are to be actively
ignored). Definitely catch this one.
My
Chemical Romance
The Black Parade
Apparently, outside the cultural black hole where I spend my days,
these guys are all the rave. Even the smug hipster assholes at Pitchfork
Media, who as a rule don’t like anything, admitted they liked
some of My Chemical Romance’s new album.
This proves conclusively that even smug hipster assholes can be wrong.
Well, that, or I myself have unwittingly become an extra-smug hipster
asshole.
At any rate, I tried to like this disc but failed. Had they taken a
page from The Darkness, and viewed this all as a self-deprecating, ostentatious
spectacle, I would have been on board (I’ve got a thing for leopard-print
unitards). Alas, they seem to take themselves very seriously, which
is a no-no for a group that sounds like a blend between Hoobastank,
Poison and this mediocre Queen cover band I saw last year.
Your Q10 would be better spent on a couple papusas.
MARCH
2007
Babel
Alejandro Inarritu has done it again, with the third installment in
his cheerful trilogy celebrating the joy of being alive. Or something
like that.
Many critics have heralded Babel as the best of Inarritu's series of
three films which interweave seemingly disparate stories and explore
human sorrow and failed dreams in agonizing detail. Their opinion is
wrong.
Throughout Amores Perros and 21 Grams, you become so invested in the
characters that the tragic twists are truly moving and unsettling (again,
if you disagree, you are wrong). Babel loses some of this intimacy by
attempting to connect too many stories.
Still, it is a solid film with some amazing moments, particularly the
story of a Mexican-American domestic worker, and purchasing it is surely
worth foregoing one watered-down Cuba Libre.
New
Music To Take Back Home
The brilliant minds at El Cuartito understand that sometimes the problem
with shopping for music in La Demo is, well, La Demo; while you can
grab discs for cheap, your choices are usually limited to Daddy Yankee
or the Damn Yankees.
Though I love a power ballad (we don't even joke about liking reggaeton)
as much as anyone else, I'm sometimes left wanting a bit more.
And El Cuartito has it. In a bin on their front counter, you can find
son cubano, Putumayo mixes, indie, world music and flamenco fusion,
among many other eclectic offerings.
Most importantly, as the title implies, after buying them you can take
them home to show your friends how worldly and hip you are. The CDs
cost just Q20, and half of that goes to support an organization doing
community work here in Xela. Good discs, good cause. Check out “New
Music.”
FEBRUARY
2007
Apocalypto
I can't remember such an intense buzz surrounding a movie
since “Weekend at Bernie's 2,” and the hype got me curious
enough to give Mel another chance.
To his credit and my surprise, Gibson did not cast himself, in brownface,
as the lead. That said, I feel like he saw a story on Mayan sacrifice
in Time and fell in love. Savages, torture and jaguars! And in a jungle!
Amidst the severing of heads, blood spurting from those still attached,
a rotting pile of bodies, and a jaguar eating someone's face, Gibson
lamely offers a plot. Nobody denies the violence in late Mayan history,
but Mel revels in it, ignoring “nuance” and “cultural
practices other than beheading.”
Formulaic as it is irresponsible, the film’s awful slow-mo shots
and stale penis jokes give me more reasons to tell you not to encourage
Mel Gibson by buying this film.
radio
zumbido: los ultimos dias del am
I again stray from the usual focus on the joys of piracy, but when
local artists put out great music, you need to know. Gotta hold my reputation
as “a sensation as real as the streets,” right?
A trio headed by dreamy teen idol Juanka, co-owner of El Cuartito, radio
zumbido offers an infectious, kinetic hybrid of live instrumentation
and samples in which jazz trumpets, turntable scratches, funky guitar
licks and electronic blips blend easily and ride over rolling basslines
and vibrant percussion.
This is also a brilliant concept album. Seasoning each track with a
subtle homage to the everyday in Guatemala - from chicken bus horns
to dusty jazz samples and street corner conversations - radio zumbido
fights the tide of crap that is FM radio, creating compelling new music
with a sense of soul and memory.
You can pick the disc up at El Cuartito, and it's also available online.
For more information, check out www.myspace.com/radiozum.
JANUARY
2007
An
Inconvenient Truth
The latest release from martial arts hero Al Gore combines
an apocalyptic storyline with Gore’s dazzling, self-choreographed
fight scenes. Oh, if only…
La Demo seems to be taking itself more seriously these days, offering
up en masse this sober documentary about global warming. Essentially
a glorified slide show interrupted only by shots of a pensive Gore heroically
working behind the scenes, this film makes two things crystal clear.
First, Al Gore loves Al Gore. Second, Al Gore is awesome with Powerpoint.
And yeah, it talks about that whole climate change bit, as well. While
the film does not introduce much new information for those already familiar
with the issue, there are some surprising revelations and many impressive
visuals. In the end, it’s a lot like Michael Moore’s recent
films – problematic and egomaniacal at times, but still important
based on its ability to transmit a crucial message to large numbers
of people. Definitely worth watching.
Putumayo
Presents Radio Latino
I must admit this disc was not picked up in La Demo, but
rather in that den of iniquity called HiperPais. A good purchase, though,
as with each disc sold Putumayo donates $1 to an organization supporting
children who are victims of landmines in Colombia.
The album provides a great taste of new Latin music from all over the
world, happily omitting the virus known as reggaeton, and there is not
a single weak track. The first cut, Sacha Nairobi’s “Princesa,”
is a wittier take on “Money Can’t Buy Me Love” over
an infectious beat, followed by Javier Garcia’s “Me Gustaria,”
a poppy gem reminiscent of Ozomatli. “Reina de la Calle”
by Orishas is another highlight, boasting the eclectic rhythms and lush
harmonies for which the group is well-known.
Costo Rico’s “Por Esos Mares” is fantastic, and the
closing “Candelita” by Jorge Moreno, along with being a
great song, will help you out with that pesky imperfect subjunctive.
Pick up this disc.
DECEMBER
2006
Lucky Number Slevin
The revenge movie. What a classic. It just panders to
all your pent up rages against everybody who ever looked at you the
wrong way.
This is a good one - plenty of twists in the plot and an ensemble cast
that must have cost millions to put together, including Bruce Willis,
Lucy Lu and Morgan Freeman, playing a bad guy for the first time for
the first time I can remember.
The plot revolves around a couple of competing bookmakers who hire one
of their biggest debtors to do some dirty work, but nothing is as it
seems and to say any more would be to spoil the surprise.
At times relentlessly violent, the storyline is tight as a drum, and
every insignificant-seeming detail pays off in the end. My only question
is, if they don’t want us buying pirate CDs, why don’t the
cinemas here show movies of this quality?
Tokyo
Drift Soundtrack
The real saving grace of relentlessly crap movies of this
caliber is often their soundtrack, and the third installment in the
Fast n Furious series is no exception. There are some great tracks here
by quality bands like the Teriyaki Boyz, Evil Nine and the 5.6.7.8’s.
Highlights for me included the “your mum’s guaranteed to
tell you to turn it down” thrash of Atari Teenage Riot’s
“Speed” and the Prince-like funk of Far * East Movement’s
“Round Round”.
Anyone doubting that reggaeton is now firmly ensconced in popular culture
should note that bad boy Don Omar contributes two tracks, one with long-time
collaborator Tego.
This is a good compilation, with a little bit of everything, and probably
one of the better discs to land in La Demo for some time. Definitely
worth the Q10 investment.
NOVEMBER
2006
Hard
Luck
The problem with the homage is that, done badly, it
looks a whole lot like a rip-off. I thought Pulp Fiction was a pretty
good movie, too, but I’m not about to go out and basically remake
it.
But it’s all here - the intersecting storylines, the banal-yet-witty
dialogue, the underground torture chamber, the minor character who’s
a professional fighter, even the scene where two storylines overlap
in a diner.
There is a saving grace: This must be the first Mario Van Peebles directed
movie where Mario doesn’t have a slo-mo sequence with his shirt
off.
Wesley Snipes does his best to save this mess with his cool, crisp style
and Sybill Shepard’s role as torture mama is captivating. Vaguely
riveting, highly watchable, this one will never go down in the history
books alongside the original.
Amar
es Combatir
Maná
Maná, for those of you who have somehow not
heard of them, are pretty much the Rolling Stones of the Mexican Adult
Rock scene. And, like Mick and the boys, they get plenty of respect,
not so much for what they’re doing now, but for the body of work
that they’ve built up and the plain fact that they’re still
hanging in there.
One of the big criticisms of Maná is that they take forever to
release a disc, and when they do, it sounds exactly like the last one.
Amar es combatir doesn’t exactly bust that perception open, but
there are some very listenable tracks on there - the Big Single, Labios
Compartidos, the whimsical Tengo Muchas Alas and the surprising cha
cha cha of El Rey Tiburon. If you don’t have a Maná disc,
this is an OK place to start. If you do, there isn’t a whole lot
of novelty on offer here.
OCTOBER
2006
Two
for the Money
Uh… I think I may have some sort of undealt-with
father issues going on here. What should have been just another dumb
Hollywood rags-to-riches and back again story actually struck some chords.
How utterly shameful.
The deal is this: Matthew McConaughy is a top gun at guessing the results
of football games, who could never please his father. Al Pacino owns
a sports betting company, takes Matthew under his wing, reconstructs
his personality and turns him into a superstar. Somewhere along the
way, Matthew loses his gift and falls for Al’s wife, who, according
to the logic of the movie, is his surrogate mother.
Ewww.
The movie really gets saved by Al’s totally hardass philosophy
on life, money and personal relationships, which gives him the best
dialogue in the film. It never quite comes up to the standard of “I
wanna innerdoos joo to my lil’ fren’”, but then again
- has anything, ever?
All
the Right Reasons
Nickelback
Ever since Metallica cut their hair and became a bunch
of therapist-hugging pansies, the question in the Hard Rock world has
been this: Who shall become the next kings?
Well, Nickelback have submitted their resumé and they stand a
pretty good chance of getting the job.
Of course, they’ve had about 20 years of Hammet solos to - ahem
- draw inspiration from, but the boys keep it chugging from start to
finish, with a monster opening track “Follow you Home” followed
by the Big Drum Rockout of “Fight for all the all”.
And that’s what they do best. I dunno which record company exec
got in their ear, but four ballads out of 11 tracks is excessive in
anybody’s (except possibly Lars Ulrich’s) book, and it doesn’t
bode well for the followup album.
SEPTEMBER
2006
Nacho
Libre
Some ideas are just too good. Check this one out: Jack
Black playing a Mexican monk who moonlights as an inept wrestler in
the Lucha Libre to raise funds for his orphanage.
It should be a laugh riot, but it looks like, the writers let it rest
on the premise and never really developed the script. Jack gets to clown
around enough, but after he gets his ass whipped by a revolving cast
of midgets, senior citizens and other wrestling freaks, there’s
really nothing for him to work with here.
Probably the saddest part is that most of the laughs get stolen by El
Esqueleto, Jack’s wrestling partner, who is even more hopeless
than he is, and wanders around most of the film looking confused and
munching on a cheese-covered corn cob.
The day is almost saved by a couple of Jack Black trademark hammed-up
musical numbers, but really, add this to his work on School of Rock
and it’s looking like Mr Black makes a much better support than
lead actor.
One
Nation Underground
Ill Niño
Somebody said these guys are from South America, but
they live in Michigan. Could be. They throw a bit of Spanish around.
Saying they incorporate South American rhythms into their hard rock
is a bit of a stretch, though.
There’s some pleasantly hardcore stuff here, with the chug-a-chug
that we all grew to love with Rage Against the Machine, and everybody’s
been “influenced by” ever since.
Tracks like “This is War” and “Corazon of Mine”
really make the disc - it’s not that the rest is filler, just
that you get the idea pretty quick, and there’s no need to go
over it again and again.
This disc will never make it on to the radio, and it’s unlikely
it’ll even make it onto those token hard rock half hours that
the music channels come out with every once in a while, but these bad
boys aren’t in any danger of selling out yet, and more strength
to ‘em.
AUGUST
2006
Night
Watch
There’s only one thing cooler than the modern-day
vampire flick, and that’s the modern-day vampire flick set in
Russia. How hip is that? As an added bonus, this must be the first film
set in post-Perestroika Moscow where they don’t squeeze in a Russian
mafia subplot.
The story basically deals with a prophecy, that The One will come and
decide once and for all the war between Darkness and Light. Now before
you start screaming “Matrix!”, please consider these mitigating
factors: 1) Keanu’s big dopey head is nowhere to be seen. 2) The
Matrix was basically a compilation of every other film ever made, so
it’s unlikely that the Wachowski brothers will be filing any lawsuits
anytime soon.
Gritty, with a low budget feel but good pacing, this could well be the
best vampire film to come out of Russia this year.
Get
Rich or Die Tryin' Soundtrack
50 Cent
In a profession that demands exaggeration, 50 Cent
excels. Half the fun of listening to 50 is the absurd stuff he comes
out with. It’s pure theater, like the interview I saw him do,
claiming he invented taking your top off in a music video “and
now everybody’s doing it”.
The most shot at man in rap business made a biopic, apparently, although
it never made it here, not even in pirate form (not a good sign...)
and this is the soundtrack. Anyone familiar with 50’s oeuvre won’t
be disappointed - it’s all here… the guns, the drugs, the
bitches and the ho’s.
There’s even the now-obligatory rap to the kiddies, warning them
not to follow in 50’s footsteps. Not a bad disc, but it just confirms
what we suspected after listening to all those Eminem songs - that a
musical genius like Dr Dre can make anyone sound good, regardless of
style or content.
JULY
2006
Kiss,
kiss, bang
Well, I guess this means that Robert Downey Jr. is back.
From rehab? Prison? Death’s door? Unimportant. The point is that
he’s cleaned himself up enough to learn his lines, but not so
much that he’s lost that delightfully seedy edge.
This is a strange movie. Taken on one level, it’s a playful spoof
on 50’s detective novels with some clever postmodern jabs at the
narrative concept. Taken on another, it’s about a guy trying to
boont his long-lost high school crush. I won’t spoil the surprise
for you. Either way, it’s way better than the usual Hollywood
mush, and well worth a look.
Belanova
Dulce Beat
The Mexican Smoothies have pulled it off again, and once
again their disc took a ridiculously long time to get to La Democracia…
surely there’s a comité looking into this, right?
Poppier than the earlier Cocktail, these tracks still feature the same
infectious basslines and gorgeous vocals. No doubt you’ve heard
“Me Pregunto” by now, but the disc is worthwhile for other,
subtler tracks, like the jumping “Soñar” and the
aptly named “Sexy”.
Definitely a standout amongst all the reggaeton and rancheros normally
available on the street, this one is well worth the Q10.
JUNE
2006
La
Vida de Daddy Yankee
First thing that needs to be said here is that this is
not the long-awaited biopic of Puerto Rico’s most famous son’s
rise to fame. It’s basically just an interview interspersed with
concert footage.
For some reason, the producers thought that the guy who blew our minds
with “I like gasoline… give me more gasoline” should
have a chance to expand a bit on his personal philosophy.
And expand he does. Daddy drops wisdom on such topics as global conflict
(“the solution to war is peace”), George W. Bush (“next
question”) and why his most famous song, Gasolina, took so long
to become a hit (“people weren’t ready for it”).
One for the truly diehard fans, this disc is only saved by a mountain
of video clips at the end and sneak previews from Daddy’s next
album, El Cartel, which looks to have a harder, more hip hop influenced
edge.
Calle
13
Residente
I think it’s fairly clear by now that there’s
some dodgy reggaeton around.
What we really needed was some good stuff, and Calle 13 delivers handsomely.
Straight from the streets of La Perla, Puerto Rico, these boys know
how to put an album together. Bumping beats, interesting samples, varied
instrumentation and enough adolescent “wit” (I’m going
to hunch you over like Quasimodo) to earn them the distinction of actually
getting one of their songs banned in the Dominican Republic.
The standout tracks (Se vale todo, Atrevete te te) have already been
pummeled by MTV, but there are definitely enough hidden treasures on
the album to make this one worth the Q10.
MAY
2006
Layer
Cake
The producers of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking
Barrels and Snatch continue with their obsession with British
bad boys, but this time they’ve moved further up the food
chain. Now we’re dealing in keys and gees, and the action
takes place in posh country clubs instead of the corner pub. There’s
still plenty of geezers on the scene, though, and some memorable
scenes of drunken idiots on the streets of Amsterdam.
The plot basically concerns a wholesale coke dealer who’s
trying to get out of the game after that one big score - unfortunately
his boss, the cops and a stolen shipment of a million ecstasy
tabs stand in his way.
There are enough twists in the plot to keep you riveted, but without
the gritty streetlife of the former two movies, it just feels
like this one is lacking something.
 Yellow
Card
Lights & Sounds
Nirvana have a lot to answer for: That much we
know. Here it manifests in the classic mellow-intro-followed-by-heavy-song
formula, or, to stir things up a little bit, the heavy-intro-followed-by-mellow-song.
These guys definitely know how to rock, God bless
their angst-ridden little hearts, and in the age of Britney and
Maroon 5, this should be applauded at any rate.
For some reason, this disc has been getting a
lot of mainstream airplay, and while it doesn’t really sound
like “classic” material, it’ll be interesting
to see which way the boys go next time.
APRIL
2006
 Hostel
I’m not sure if the director is a very
stable fellow. Don’t get me wrong: I was torn between cheering
and booing when the loud, cell phone-totting backpackers start
disappearing, after their search for European hotties leads them
to a small Slovakian town (I know, what a plot!).
But my dilemma only lasted until the first of the de-toeing scenes,
in which our backup character finds himself in a Doom dungeon
being tortured. At this point I could no longer suppress my empathy
for their predicament, though, I must say, not from personal experience.
And so on and so forth. Our lead Paxton miraculously escapes his
torture cell and is faced with the dank corridors of an abandoned
mill in which the latter half of the film takes place. He eventually
dodges his way out to cry his train ride home and commit murder
in a train station along the way.
Thanks guys for the clever dialogue (?), artfully
shot scenes (?!) and purpose (?!!).
 Korn
See You on the Other Side
You know what the problem with this CD is? I’m
not 13, no longer think my parents are ruining my life and stopped
communicating in grunts and monosyllabic words at about the same
time I was potty trained.
Not true for these guys. They just keep suckling
the sweet teat of Virgin records, drying up even the inexhaustible
topics of teen angst as only aging rock-stars can and eventually
default to the last resort of any lyricist: singing about singing.
A feeble attempt is made at different, muddily-distorted points
to show their social awareness in tracks like “politics”
(was there a “rrrghgrah” in there?).
But mostly they vent away the 14 tracks, wallowing
in their own overproduced prep-grunge rock, led ever monotonously
forward by the schizophrenic screaming matches of Jonathan Davis.
If you want to have 8th grade flashbacks go shell out the Q10
and try to figure out why the little white kid with the headless
teddy bear on the cover is bald.
MARCH
2006
 Lord
of War
Cue Nicolas Cage in a business suit: “By
the mid-Eighties my weapons were represented in eight of the worlds
top ten war zones.”
Cue Afghanistanie firing an automatic rifle with
the metallic sound of each shells discharge being replaced by
the cha-ching of a cash register.
Cue a flick so un-apologetic that I spent the
first half of it trying to suss out if Cage’s character
was in fact the sarcastic anti-gun statement I hoped he was.
Gun running becomes the poor immigrant Yuri´s (Nicolas Cage)
ticket out of povertyand into the silken undees of his high rolling
childhood crush. As he climbs the guilty rungs of gun running
success (narrated in a death-is-our-business tone) it is easy
to be set against the idealistic Valentine (Ethan Hawke) who fills
nicely the role of straight arrow authority figure. It isn’t
until the final cuts that we learn Valentine is us and Yuri is
the system to which LOW neither sugar coats nor gives answers
to.
 Akwid
Dos Aguacates De Jiquilpan
The disc starts right off with a female narrator
talking about Sergio and Francisco Segundo who we can only assume
these are at least two of the bald fellows we see on the front
cover with football jerseys sporting grim expressions and carrying
all manner of instruments not present in any of their 13 tracks
(is that a tuba?).
But, besides the constant narration and the occasional violin
solo, there aren’t too many surprises: a solid array of
pained rap ballads about women alcohol and being a rap star. After
the climax track “Anda y Ve” things wind down quickly.
A fellow rap artist, author of the hit Chili
Con Carne, gets on the mike to talk for over three and a half
minutes about the merits of writing rap music about food. He is
later joined for more discussion by the brothers making you wonder
if these guys ever heard of liner notes. Recommended really only
for those of us into the genre of Mexican/Los Angeles hip-hop
about food.
FEBRUARY
2006
 Broken
Flowers
Wait a minute… Jim Jarmusch movies for sale in La Democracia?
Have the video pirates gone all Arthouse on us?
If you’re used to the usual Hollywood formula of at least
one explosion and/or breast every three minutes or so, you might
be a bit taken aback by this film, but anyone who has been following
Jarmusch’s work will see all of his trademark devices used
to excellent effect - “everyday” characters, a lulling
pace, dialogue that seems to go nowhere, and the long patches
of silence or ambient noise.
Bill Murray seems to have got a new agent, and ever since Lost
in Translation, he’s been a name to watch for serious drama.
Definitely one of the better films to hit the cinemas, let alone
the streets, this year.
 Sean
Paul
Trinity
Finally. My chance to sound like a jetsetting
tosser. Here goes: I never really understood this kind of music
until I went to the Caribbean, but now I & I am like, totally
irie with the whole jam.
Which is not to imply that I understand any more than, say 10%
of the lyrics. Just that discs like this conjure up images of
swaying palms, white sand beaches and sweaty dancefloor scenes.
No doubt we’re all bored with the lead single “We
be burnin” by now, but there are some other movers here,
too, and some great guest appearances by the likes of Nina Sky,
Tami Chynn and Kid Kurup, on what for me is the standout track,
“Change the game”, which gets buried at number 17
for some reason.
JANUARY
2006
 Le
Transporteur 2
OK. I guess this one was my fault. I really should
have specified that I wanted the version of The Transporter 2
that wasn’t dubbed into French. But still. Mon français
n'est pas trop mauvais... and anyway - there’s enough action
in this baby to be able to understand what’s going on, more
or less.
From what I can tell, the movie’s about an ex-military guy
who now works as a chauffeur who gets tangled up in an ingenious
kidnapping/bioterrorism plot.
There are some really big explosions, a whole bunch of people
who get shot, some riveting car chases through the streets of
Miami, and what I suspect may have been some very snappy dialogue.
In summary, I say: Vive le transporteur!
 t.A.T.u
Dangerous & Moving
Sugar coated pseudo-techno lightweight bubblegum
lipstick lesbian corporate teenybopper fodder. I really thought
I’d like this album, but it appears not.
The Concept was there - take the Russian duo’s only hit,
“All the Things She Said”, rearrange it slightly (giving
you “All About Us”) and pad the rest of the album
out with another 12 instantly forgettable tracks and 5 (yes, count
‘em) “remixes” of the single.
I don’t know what went wrong. Maybe the drugs kicked in
late. Maybe the producers’ devil-worshipping corporate mentality
black holes of hearts just weren’t in it.
Who cares? I know there are some 12 year old ecstasy heads out
there who will disagree with me, but I say this was the biggest
waste of Q10 since I bought a “chocolate eclaire”
at a Guatemalan bakery.
DECEMBER
2005
 The
Corpse Bride
Man, that Tim Burton is one dark puppy. Who
else would come up with a story of frustrated love between a corpse
and a living person, then make it into a cartoon and encourage
kids to watch it?
It’s kind of weird in other ways, though - too dark to be
a kiddie film, too lightweight to really be for adults.
There are some incredibly lame musical numbers here, and a couple
of good ones. The plot has all those archetypal icons of your
classic melodrama - the unwilling hero, the scheming mother-in-law,
the waif like heroine and the dashing, handsome villain.
It’s never going to go down in the same
league as Burton’s other work, like Edward Scissorhands,
but it does do the job for a couple of hours of brain-free diversion.
 Snoop
Dogg
R&G
Snoop is back, and it’s a fair bet that
we don’t really want to know where he’s been. The
king of snarly rap has pulled out another supersmooth album.
No surprises on the themes here - smoking pot,
killing fools, smacking bitches… The D.O. double G isn’t
mellowing with age, and with songs like “Fresh Pair of Panties
On” and “Can U Control Yo Hoe”, it doesn’t
seem like those accusations of misogyny are really bothering him,
either.
The big bonuses here are the guests - some are there for payback
(50 Cent), others for commercial appeal (Nelly, Justin Timberlake),
but Snoop also gives props to influences, with guests like Bootsy
Collins and the big surprise, the Bee Gees. If you’re a
hip hop fan, this one’s definitely worth the Q10.
NOVEMBER
2005
 Four
Brothers
The buddy movie. What could be better? And this is a movie with
four buddies. That’s like the buddy movie to the power of
two. If you’re a boy (which I am), this movie has EVERYTHING
YOU COULD EVER WANT IN A MOVIE. Shoot outs, naughty words, raunch,
explosions, bent cops, and this wicked car chase through the snowy
streets of Detroit.
The plot that thinly holds all this together (and what do we care
about plots - right, boys?) is that four badass adopted brothers
meet up again after years of separation to avenge their mother’s
death.
Definitely a Hollywood no-brainer, this is one to catch with a
good supply of beer and a couple of friends, but we won’t
be seeing it on any film society discussion panel in the near
future.
 Funky
Funkytown
I have a general rule about things with “funky” in
their name. Generally they aren’t.
It’s like when McDonalds offers their Healthy
Menu. You just know something’s wrong. So I wasn’t
really convinced by the cover of this disc, being that it has
the double use of the “F” word.
Well I was wrong, OK? This is Latino hip hop
how it should be - interesting samples, latin rhythms, syncopated
percussion and a very restrained use of the schmoozy “let’s
go back to my crib and get it on” raps that tend to plague
the genre.
With guest appearances by René González and Vico
C, I guess I should have known that this was a cut above the average.
Let’s just say that I learnt my lesson, alright?
OCTOBER
2005
 The
Skeleton Key
I love the swampy New Orleans voodoo story. I guess this’ll
be the last one for a while. Bummer that. This is your fairly
standard terror flick plot. Young, enthusiastic nurse goes out
to creepy old house in the middle of nowhere to care for elderly
stroke victim to atone for the fact that she never looked after
her dying father.
The film moves along at a reasonable pace, but never reaches the
intensity of the previews. We are asked to make a couple of leaps
of faith (like being from New Jersey means you’ve probably
never heard of Voodoo before), but overall the atmosphere is tight
and the plot twists are well executed if not hugely surprising.
Another of the nearly blood-and-gore free psychological thrillers
that are coming out of Hollywood these days, this one should hold
your attention, even though it won’t scare your pants off.
 Gorillaz
Demon Days
I thought these guys were a novelty band. Thanks a lot MTV. Turns
out they’ve been slaving over hot keyboards (or whatever
it is that electro pop/rock bands do) for the last 4 years, coming
up with an intriguing little album.
Sure, we’ve all had our fill of “Feel Good, Inc”,
but any track with such a funky bassline and those jaunty little
“hoo hoos” was bound to get some serious airplay.
The rest of the album reveals a much deeper complexity to the
band. Check out the Moby-esque wah wah fest that is “Every
plant we reach is dead”, or “Green world” which
really leaves me at a loss, except to say that it sounds like
Tom Waits dropped in for a jam with Public Enemy.
Overall, a timeless album, and a much better one than the first
single would imply.
SEPTEMBER
2005
 Sin
City
Here’s one for the whole family. Bent cops, hookers with
hearts of gold, genital mutilations and cannibals.
Welcome to Sin City. A lot of movies get called “dark”,
but this one really is, in every sense. The plot, the cinematography,
the underlying message…
Adapted from Frank Miller’s hit underground comic book series,
the movie’s got enough cheesy dialogue (“I got a bum
ticker”, “Kill him for me, Marv. Kill him good.”
etc) to make it a cult classic and enough big names (Bruce Willis,
Benicio Del Toro, Rutger Hauer, etc) to help it do well in the
mainstream.
Fans of excessive, stylized violence shouldn’t
miss this one, especially since their poster boy, Quentin Tarantino
directs a token scene. But don’t be surprised if it doesn’t
get a cinema release in Guatemala, or if the edited-for-TV version
runs to about four minutes.
 Belanova
Cocktail
OK, so this one came out in 2003, but the irrefutable logic of
The Street dictates that it has only just hit La Democracia. But
who cares? At least it arrived. This is one of those ultimate
summer backyard invite your friends around for a few drinks albums.
A lazier reviewer (there must be one out there somewhere) would
call this Portishead in Spanish, but there isn’t the same
melancholy here, and the band walks a skilful line between pop
and lightweight.
The standout track “Aun así te vas” has been
rightly hammered by MTV, but there are some other goodies here
– the quirky, catchy “Suele pasar”, the infectious
“What a shame” and the it-takes-a-while-but-it-finally-gets-you
“Fragilidad” to mention a few.
If you like this one, keep an eye out for the
new album, Dulce Beat. It should be hitting the streets some time
around 2007.
AUGUST
2005
 The
Fantastic Four
Now, this is the problem with postmodernism.
It raises more questions than it answers.
Could a movie actually be this bad without trying? Is it some
kind of ironic statement on superhero movies? Is the acting this
wooden as some sort of anti-Hollywood statement?
Are the special effects this crappy as a reaction against the
slick CGI effects of past blockbusters like Superman, Batman and
the Star Wars movies?
Does the plot creep painfully along as a homage to the original
comic book series, or worse, the 70s cartoon?
Are those clunky love scenes a cynical attempt by director Tim
Story to discredit the idea of romantic love in general?
Who knows, and indeed, who cares? The important thing is I didn’t
fork out the big bucks back home to see this one in a multiplex.
Not even recommended for diehard F4 fans |
