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WHY
CHICKEN BUSES ROCK |
by
Patrick Billings |
When Nebraska High’s Parents
and Friends Association dumped this baby in a field, I’m sure
they thought its glory days over. But hey, thanks to grinding poverty
and an unwavering inconsideration for safety, 30 years later its
back…revamped (aesthetically speaking) and Guatemala’s
bargain gateway to the world.
That’s right I’m talking about Chicken buses. Ok, ok
we’re all a bit sick of the old ice breaker, ¨Ha how about
those Chicken buses hey?¨ But I’m from Sydney, Australia,
where to great expense the public transport is still shit. I marvel
at this model system.
Reborn, the Chicken bus is one of few places in Guatemala, perhaps
the world, where you can be turned on under the eyes of Jesus, as
girls in bikinis are pasted alongside the Holy Trinity. Not to mention
the bump and grind travel or the slippery hands of the ¨conductor¨.
The staff of these crafts of convenience hold a contempt for passengers
that would shame New York City bus drivers. And I feel we, the passengers,
and 30 tonnes of steel are considered nothing but a hindrance, to
the land/speed record attempts by the man at the helm. Certainly
we and the steel rarely shape the angles he contends or the speed
he nominates. And why should we? Like me he’s probably seen
what happens in Gran Turismo when you crash….Nothing, at least
legally
Is it just me or do you get the sense after apprehended for various
crimes of indecency, the judge said well boys its either 6 years
up in Guate or 2 on a chicken bus. This would explain the frantic
driving – an effort to drive out the unhealthy carnal thoughts.
Or perhaps the speed's an effort to deliver the passengers and make
it back to that mountain village to find, assault and dump the body
of a village girl before morning.
I guess what I am saying is open up the gates to the sexual predators
division of Long Bay, Pentridge, or the State Penn, wherever you’re
from. Let the perverts charge to the nearest bus terminal and rid
your city of its transport woes. And as opposed to hidden transport
tax hikes at least you’ll know when you’re being fucked.
And back here in Xela, as you gloss over the grisly road toll, remember
you might be riding on a Rosa Parkes rebirth, so take the time to
thank your driver, but stop yourself short at the second kiss on
the cheek. |
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WHY
MARIMBA ROCKS |
| The Marimba. Guatemala's national
pride (after Gallo, that is). Basically a big-ass wooden xylophone,
its music leaves a lot of foreigners cold, with kindergarten flashbacks
and a strange yearning for milk, cookies and a bit of quiet time
with blanky. We here at XelaWho wouldn't know a diminished chord
if it started arpeggiating itself down the front of our pants,
so we asked our resident musicalologist to explain, in simple
terms... |
by
Galen Huckins |
Chances are being an Extranjero, your experience of the marimba
is shallow at best. Perhaps your host mother listens to it now
and again while cooking huevos-a-la-everyday, or perhaps you
have been to the Sunday market at parque central and heard Curly,
Moe and Larry the “Nearly-Homeless-Mallet-Swingers”*.
But stop and think about it, is the music on the radio back
home any good? Tune in anywhere and you’re bound to hear
the latest wave of girl/boy-band-easy-listening-punk-rock. You
wouldn’t expect to hear any real music on the radio or
at the shopping mall at home, why expect such a thing here?
The Marimba, like real punk rock, was shunned and persecuted
by general society and considered a solely “indigenous”
instrument, and (like punk) has only recently been accepted
by the masses in the form of synthesized pseudo-pop and Simon
and Garfunkel covers.
To hear real marimba music, you’ll have to see such groups
as La Princesita or La Marimba Municipal. Here in Xela, the
Bethancourt family has been into marimba playing since your
grandfathers were in undies. Great-grandsons continue playing
the music of their forefathers that was scrawled on the back
of envelopes and napkins (before writing on the back of napkins
was cool). They may not be on the radio or playing at Kokolokos,
but for those interested in a little culture and some real mallet
work, there’s hope yet.
This 14th at the Municipal Theatre, 7:30 (no that doesn’t
mean sometime past 9). There will be a presentation of Marimba
and Jazz, with yours truly on the piano and a crack team of
local marimba, bass and percussion players. We will be presenting
a variety of music from jazz classics to traditional marimba
music and will be featuring guest appearances by several local
talents.
I hope I have offered some insight as to an instrument commonly
misunderstood (or rarely understood at all), and perhaps we’ll
see a few of you on the 14th.
Signing out, G.
*names changed to avoid embarrassment
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WHY
YOGA ROCKS |
| Yoga… what exactly is the deal there? Is it
just aerobics for hippies, or is it in fact the One True Path to
Enlightenment and a Nicely Aligned Set of Chakras? We here at XelaWho
are generally far too hung over to contemplate any question heavier
than “what’s for lunch?”, so we asked our resident
yogalologist, to explain, in simple terms… |
by
John Walker |
Another New Year has arrived and along with it comes those
New Year's resolutions. Many of which will include some form
of health and fitness program. As you are considering where
to allocate your energy this year, why not look for a program
that not only improves you physically but mentally, emotionally,
and spiritually as well? I believe yoga is just such a discipline.
Generally defined, yoga is an integrated system developing the
body, mind and soul which in its highest form is both a transformational
and transcendental practice.
I could go on and on explaining the many physical and health
related benefits associated with consistent yoga practice -
improved flexibility, muscle tone, and fat loss to improved
mental clarity, concentration, blood circulation and efficiency
of the major organs, but perhaps a brief personal testimonial
would be more informative…
It was halfway through the "warm-up" sequence of my
first ashtanga yoga class, wallowing in a pool of my own sweat,
uncontrollably shaking trying to support my own body weight,
and gasping for air that I had my first of many epiphanies (something
like, maybe eating 2 lbs of red meat a day really is bad for
me?).
As the practice continued, I realized there was more to yoga
than just touching one's toes. Having been a bit of a muscle-head,
I was impressed to find such a challenging work out was possible
from nothing but my own body weight and 28 years of mental and
emotional baggage. In no time, my flexibility, strength and
overall well-being improved. And here it is, 3 years later and
I am still consistently practicing yoga. Not so much for the
physical benefits, but rather the changes that have occurred
within. The practice has helped me understand that acceptance
can be superior to ambition, honesty more empowering than self-deception,
and that forgiveness and love are right on!
Simply put, yoga put me in a better headspace (all things being
relative) allowing me to repair and begin more meaningful and
sincere relationships. So if you’re looking for something
that’s not only physically challenging, but therapeutic
and transformational as well, check out the folks over at the
Yoga House.
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WHY
VOLUNTEERING ROCKS |
| Volunteering… What the
heck’s that all about? The last time that any of us here
at XelaWho worked for free, we were mowing Grammy’s lawn
(and even then it was only ‘cause she didn’t have
enough food stamps to cover the bill). But here in Xela it seems
like everybody’s doing something for nothing. We’re
far too lazy to do anything like investigate, so we asked our
resident do-gooder to explain, in simple terms… |
by
Elizabeth Johnson, Director of EntreMundos |
| Whereas we all know that traveling
can be an exhilarating experience, it often grants only a surface
understanding of local cultures and customs. You generally spend
more time on buses than actually carrying on meaningful conversations
with people from the passing communities. By committing your time
as a volunteer, you gain the opportunity to connect with local
culture on a deeper and more intimate level. More genuine and
memorable relationships are fostered by living and working in
a single community.
On a more practical note, for people still attempting to define
their career path, volunteering can be a useful work experience.
Not only do you have the chance to develop your employment and
language skills, employers are often excited to see a demonstrated
level of self-initiative and dedication.
Volunteering also provides an opportunity to work with people
from diverse backgrounds and cultures. Furthermore, serving as
a volunteer helps to support local, grassroots projects. Many
local organizations are understaffed, poorly funded, and haphazardly
directed and volunteers can help to give structure and guidance
to the project. Many activities flourish when given international
attention and exposure because of the presence of outside knowledge,
training, and experience.
Whereas most organizations require that you have a basic command
of Spanish, each project differs in regards to the expected skill
level. The required time commitment fluctuates from project to
project as well. If you are interested in working as a volunteer,
check out the EntreMundos newspaper (available at most Spanish
schools and restaurants around town) or stop by the office at
6a Calle 7-31. We are open Monday, Friday: 3-5pm, and Thursday,
Friday: 11-1pm.
Our services are free, and we can put you in contact with over
100 local organizations.
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