QUETZALTANGO, JUNE - Exasperated by the pore quality of English language publishing in Xela, the Quetzaltenango English Teachers Association (QETA, for their initials in English) plan to launch their own magazine, XelaWhom.

The magazine will be an action-packed rollercoaster ride through such exciting fields as correct prepositional placement and verb agreements.

“What we is hoping is that, by publishing our own magazine we’ll raise the bar slightly and maybe put an end to people recklessly splitting infinitives and using dangling modifiers while shooting tigers in their pajamas” said Natasia Nobokov, a Russian-born Icelandic national who is QETA’s president and asked to remain anonymous for the purposes of this article.
*** Note to Ed: Please remove this woman’s name before publication. Thx. L***

One of QETA’s main complaints with Xela-based writers is that they ignore the journalistic maxim of “brevity is king” by creating sentences of an unwieldy length, making it hard for readers to follow the original point of what was being said and clouding the entire issue in obfuscation and then, by introducing tangential points, fogging up the entire ballgame (often with the use of mixed metaphors), most likely compounding the problem with the use of primordially polysyllabic verbiage, more often than not completely out of context and far away from its intended usage - where simple language would have sufficed to produce a less circular and non-repetitive point that was clearer and more easier to understand, thus making for a more comprehensible writing style.

“There be a screaming need for a trained professional who can do a little proofreading and cast a critical eye over what goes into these publications” Ms. Nabokov said.

“There be a screaming need for a trained professional who can do a little proofreading and cast a critical eye over what goes into these publications” Ms. Nabokov said.

XelaWhom is planned to hit the streets next month, e.g. July, with it’s first issue focusing on punctuation; i.e. the use of the semi-colon. The editors, whom have been hard at work gathering material, welcome you’re ideas at there email: info@xelawhom.com, two.