My Guatemalan Boyfriend

by Kendal Bergman

When I came to Guatemala, I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship and wanted to have fun, learn some Spanish, and reinvent myself, so to speak. Needless to say, I wasn't looking for anything serious.

But one Wednesday night, while out dancing salsa at this hip new club, I found myself repeatedly drifting back toward a cute Guatemalan guy who could really move. What's more, when we sat down to have some Cuba Libres (rum and coke, but with lime - totally awesome), I saw he was really interested, and interesting. Well, at least I think he was interesting; my Spanish isn't so good.

He went to the bathroom at one point, and some girl I had met earlier came up and said something about staying away from the “casa gringa.” I'm not sure what that had to do with anything, but at any rate I told her I already had a place to stay, so no worries.

Anyway, all night whispered so many sweet things in my ear, like “te quiero chimar,” which I think means “you are a beautiful flower,” and I ended up going home with him for the greatest thirteen seconds of my life.

It quickly developed into something deep and exotically wonderful. I can't believe it has only been eight days! We have already gone to the lake; at the hotel in San Pedro, he had a special room reserved for us and the owner even knew his name. It was soooo romantic!

We've walked in the park, talked about everything (well, almost everything... still working on the Spanish) and gone out for dinner at all the best places in Xela. He has such a bad memory, though; always forgets his wallet! Also, he has this cute little pet name for me, “culito,” that makes my heart skip a beat every time I hear it.

I want to spend every minute with him, but most nights he has to go home because he gets terrible migraines. They must be really bad, too, because he never picks up his phone if I call. Poor thing. All in all, I feel so lucky to be with him. When I tell people, they usually just nod and smile; it's like they don't even know what to say.

PAST LIFESTYLE COLUMNS...

DECEMBER 2006

When I flew in to Guatemala on my 3 week mini-vacation, I was pretty much a free spirit. All I wanted to do was learn Spanish, solve the country’s complex political, economic and social problems, pick up some college credits, get some hot latino sex, spice up an otherwise unimpressive patch on my résumé and show up my stupid cousin Rachel who thinks she’s so cool because she went on safari to Africa for two weeks.

My mom was really worried and said that I should go to the south of France again, but I told her I felt a real spiritual bond with our housekeeper Rosalita, who’s from Guatemala (or maybe Nicaragua) and plus anyway I didn’t have enough frequent flyer miles to make it to Europe again and anyway I really wanted to get some nice fabrics for that sofa in my study.

Like I said, I really wanted to do some volunteer work while I was here, and there are lots of organizations doing things, but I really wanted to work with kids. After a few minutes of really intense Googling, I found the perfect project. I can’t remember their full name, but it’s called OFROHEMOSOCOLIBSAB for short and they work with amputee street kids whose mothers died of AIDS because they got raped in the civil war.

Cool, I thought. There was a small registration fee (which is like, totally tax deductible, BTW) and I was in!!!

When I got here, everyone was like, totally friendly and the Director of the project, Luis, let me stay in his house for only $150 per week, which included two authentic Guatemalan meals per day, except on Sundays when the cook, Luis’ grandmother, went to church.
I started working straight away. I told Luis that I had worked in my dad’s office last summer (saving up for that Baja road trip) so he made me Administrative Director. I never actually got to meet any of the kids (Luis said they were all off at the hospital getting treated or something), but there were plenty of photos on the office walls and the sight of their brown, slightly snotty, smiling faces was an inspiration to me every day!!!

Apart from checking my email and drinking coffee, my main job was trimming the edges of Luis’ business cards, which had come back from the printer slightly off-center. It was hard work, but these are the kinds of challenges that NGOs face in the developing world!!!

In short, I think I totally achieved my goals in coming here and would recommend it to anyone who’s thinking about it (although if you’re looking for the hot sex bit, I wouldn’t recommend Luis - he was kind of lukewarm). I think next year I’ll go to Cambodia, where I hear there are some totally needy kids and good cheap ceramics.

That ought to show that stupid Rachel.